Use big stick on barrel

The Kaizers Orchestra Text Adventure

Welcome to the first ever Kaizers Orchestra text adventure!

Now, what is a text adventure?
A text adventure is a very basic computer game. Text adventures existed already when monitors were black and white, disks could (but should not be =;-)) folded, and you didn't have a mouse on your computer. So, text adventures are pretty old-fashioned - but COOL!
A text adventure tells a story, using only plain text. No pictures, no graphics, at most some ASCII art (only if the programmer had time for fancy stuff - I didn't). So if you expect cool animations, forget it. A text adventure is about the story and the details. I hope you won't be disappointed here.
So, how do you play? It's very easy. You start reading the story and get to know the general setup. Then you start exploring the world you entered - you start interacting with the characters of the story, picking up objects, using them, influencing what is going on. You act by typing in simple commands (type "help" at any time to get a list of possible commands). The response is a text telling you what happens or what you experience. You need to find out what your "mission" is and figure out how to accomplish it by collecting things you need and hints that may help you.

Some general remarks:
This game cannot be played offline, sorry. But you can save your game and later reload it to go on playing. If you pause playing for a while, make sure to save - otherwise your cookie might get lost and you will have to start all over! (By the way, cookies are mandatory, javascript is convenient, but not necessary.)
If you encounter any errors or problems, please tell me so (you can also use this contact form). But don't expect any solutions from me. Maybe you can discuss things with other fans or something, but I'm not giving away the answers - that would be no fun!
Oh and, why is the game in English? Well, because my Norwegian sucks. And there could just possibly be a few Kaizer fans who don't know German =;-)
The game was written by Ruth Fuchss aka Susi S. Any resemblance to real persons, whether living or dead, is purely coincidental - äh, I meant completely intentional, of course. If there's any stereotype I missed, sorry. =;-) I'll think about making up in the sequel.

Start the game!